We’ll aim to be there by 5pm and pray that the hour long trip in has not induced a nap.
She’ll be wired for sound (snoring, grunting and other incidental night noises) and for heart rate and oxygen levels.
We know the drill, we’ve been here before.
This time, we are hoping to find some form of hypoxia (low oxygen levels) so as to explain away the pulmonary hypertension.
You see, sleep apnoea can be a cause.
I don’t think they will find any.
Like I said, we have been here before
but we will go through the motions, stay overnight in the hospital (there is not even a tiny ounce of my being that wants to do that part) and try to sleep under the watchful eye of the infrared camera, the buzzing of the monitor and the not so quiet hiss of the air conditioner.
We will do it because there is that tiny chance that it will bring an answer.
Tomorrow night, I will tuck her in, once again, into the over starched hospital sheets and the plastic coated mattress and I will watch her from the fold out ‘bed’ that isn’t even a comfortable chair in it’s regular life and hope.
I will wonder if there will be any findings and think of my family and my own pillowtop mattress. I would say dream but there will be little sleep for me, so the whole concept seems cruel and unusual.
I’m taking you all in with me, via the wonder of modern technology, my roaming internet, my dongle, my life line.
Your humour, your stories, they will get me through, keep the colours streaming into the small bland box of a hospital room.
You’ll keep me company while I wait, won’t you?