A lot of you who follow me on twitter know that there have been some changes in my life recently.
I moved the boyfriend in.
I got engaged. (I promise the story of that will be here later. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to tell it without giving away all the details because I want some to be just for us.)
I’m leaving for vacation on Saturday morning at the beach 7+ hours away with the fiance (who I am dubbing The Electrician from now on), the kids, and my mom.
I ordered the stuff to begin putting together some of my photos in nice packaging to sell locally first and then online if everything goes well.
I’m planning a wedding for next year that is going to be short, simple, inexpensive and most of all, short.
I’ve been fighting a few health issues lately.
Now anyone who knows an Aspie knows that all these changes are hard. They know that this much change in a short time period can put a regular person into a tailspin and when you toss in the autistic need for routines it can get messy and lead to meltdowns pretty easily.
This is where I am going to praise The Electrician because the man deserves it. He has made it a point to help me to make the changes we need to make to bring two households together and to help me maintain the routines that me and my kids need to keep our heads from exploding. He has brought his stuff over in bits and pieces so that I didn’t get overwhelmed. He sought my input on everything and made sure of what my reasons for doing/not doing certain things were before we decided what we were going to do with everything.
He has listened every step of the way to me and to my kids as we’ve navigated this journey. He pays attention to when we are getting overwhelmed or discombulated with all the changes and he shifts to accomodate us. He has been wonderful about the things I’ve vetoed (such as his golden flower picture. I just can’t handle yellow gold.), just as I’ve been trying to be as flexible as possible about where we are putting things (like his adorable little china hutch and his beautiful artwork).
I know he has been making a huge effort to make this work and he is also willing to push me a little out of my comfort zone in order to get me to meet his efforts equally. We’re finding our balance and it’s getting better and better every day.
He is making me be more realistic about my expectations for our relationship and I’m bringing him around to the way of life of living with 4 people who all have different special needs that cannot be ignored.
In the process, we’ve learned quite a bit about each other. He’s realizing he’s found someone dependable and loyal who will support him in whatever adventures he brings our way and I’m realizing that I’ve finally found someone reliable who wants to share my life with me instead of only be an occasional participant in it.
My babies and his babies have become our babies. My stuff and his stuff has become our stuff. My hopes and dreams and his hopes and dreams are merging into our hopes and dreams for our family. We are helping each other grow. He brings out the best in me and I can see that I do the same for him.
It takes effort and we’re both willing to make it. So, here goes to a life lived full of the effort of trying every day and the rewards we’ll reap together…
