Five things I have learnt today about toothpaste.

1. Toothpaste is very expensive if you have to buy it more than once a day week.

2. You can scrub your bathroom until it’s sparkling but if there is toothpaste to be found, expect to be scrubbing it again half an hour later.

3. Toothpaste can cause hives on soft toddler boy skin, especially “Extreme Clean plus Whitening” formula.

4. It also bleaches navy blue t – shirts.

5. If your toddler eats a tube of toothpaste for brunch (it’s not quite breakfast and it’s not quite lunch) expect the afternoon poo to be minty fresh and don’t be surprised when you find streaks of spearmint gel goodness.