I never asked that he be saved, that we be spared the awfulness of his death.
I had not prayed in such a long time but when I did; when I finally closed my eyes and spoke to whoever that higher power is, I asked for strength and peace to get me through what needed to be done. I asked that it it be quick and that my boy, my son, not be in any pain as he took his last shuddering breaths.
And I got all that I asked for and more.
I have regrets. Oh yes, I have many but I don’t regret not asking for his life.