I’m one of those people who goes and goes and goes…then crashes. Usually what takes me down is an illness. Sometimes it’s an injury. Sometimes it’s another person forcing me to slow down.
I’m hitting that wall. The one that you run up against right before you crash. My body has been screaming at me for weeks. I’ve been silencing that little voice in the back of my mind that warns me to slow down by stuffing my to-do list in its mouth. I’ve been pushing myself to Just. Get. This. Shit. Done. I keep promising myself that I’ll rest, just as soon as I finish this…just as soon as I get past that…just as soon as an asteroid hits the Earth and takes me out.
I never reach that point I keep promising myself because as soon as I get near it, I add something else to my to-do list. I add another goal to reach. I add another task to complete. I add one more thing that “has to be done” first. I just keep going.
I’m burning that candle at both ends right now. I told myself I would slow down as soon as I could get past Mother’s Day. Then another deadline was tacked on. And another shortly after that. There are more appointments. There are more things to take care of. There is soooo much stuff left to be done.
When do you stop? When do you basically just give up and let one day slide? When do you decide which day is okay to let it all slide and spend the day on the couch in your pajamas, napping while your kids are napping and letting the laundry/dishes/cleaning/everything just sit for a while?
I’m reaching that point where I’m getting highly irritable. I don’t have any patience. I don’t have any energy. I’m at the last stop before I say or do something stupid that lands me in hot water. So Sunday I’m turning it over to someone else for a little while. I’m going to nap when the kids nap. I’m going to leave the laundry in the basket. I’m going to spend some time sitting down curled up with my babies and my fiance. I’m going to enjoy the three little people who made me a Mother and the sweet man who’s helping me raise them.
I’m going to give them one of the few things they really ask of me. My time. My attention. My love. Mother’s Day is going to be about spending time with my family. I’ll be completely unplugging. No twitter. No email. Maybe no TV. We’ll spend some time coloring, playing with playdoh, painting, running through the grass outside if it isn’t raining, building elaborate Lego structures, and curling up together. Mama needs a break and she’s going to take it.
Happy Mother’s Day.