I have three ways I can go. Three different approaches. Three different “people” I can listen to and believe. How do I know which one is right?
My head. She is a tough mother fucker. She calls them like she sees them. Sometimes a bit too rational. At times a bit arrogant. Mostly she is there to tell me the truth. The hard cold truth. The facts. No emotion attached, no what-ifs, just exactly what she sees and how to interpret it. She is intelligent and sharp. I kinda dig my head.
My heart? Oh my girlish heart. She yearns for the warmth and passion that she knows resides in us all. She is consistently searching for the good in everyone, whether or not they deserve it. She wants things to be happy and bright and never sad. She is a romantic buried underneath a hard shell. She sees what she wants to see versus what she should see. I love my heart. She is guarded heavily now, but she’s slowly chipping away at the gate. She wants to come back out and play.
My gut is achingly accurate. She sees things happen and analyzes them and makes a choice. It is either this or that and here is how I came to that realization. She is a realist. She feels things deep within that my head and my heart don’t allow me to feel. She alerts me when I am making a bad choice or believing something that I know to not be true. She tells me with a tug, right in my belly that comes with a dull ache of regret. I know immediately when I am making a poor decision because of her. I fight with her a lot, I try to rationalize her into oblivion but she always wins. She is a stubborn old broad that I respect wholeheartedly, even if I disagree with her as often as possible.
So who do I trust of these three glorious parts of me? This is my quandary.