Is it Tuesday already?
It can’t be.
I’m not ready for tomorrow or Thursday.
I don’t think Ivy will ever be ready…
The paperwork for the procedure came yesterday. No cover letter, nothing so friendly. Just three pieces of paper, the first being the doctors fee.
By the time I had finished reading just that alone, I felt like I could sh*t a brick. That’d give him something interesting to scope! Make it worth all the money he is bleeding from us.
Does it really cost almost $700 to stick a ‘flexible camera’ up one end and down the other?
I mean, really?
That’s without the gas guy’s bill and any pathology that needs to be done…
Of course there is going to be pathology! That’s what the scope is for – to get biopsies!!!!
Okay, we have insurance, so we will only be out of pocket around $300 for the procedure because that is the gap between the recommended retail price and the mark up but still.
$260 for consult.
$300 up the bum and down the throat gap.
$200 excess (because we haven’t had an admission this year).
Christmas Eve was still last year, my friends.
No, it doesn’t count.
Nor does the week leading up to New Year.
Plus sleepy juice and tests (unknown).
Probably looking close to $1000 by this time Friday morning or more. I hear these anaesthetists can charge whatever they like. They do hold your life in their hands after all.
Not going to pay your bill? Oh that’s too bad, oops, I just forgot to put you all the way under! What’s that? You can feel the doctor slicing you. Oh, I’m sorry.
Why does it cost so much anyway? Ivy only has a small bum. Her large intestine can’t be that long.
She’s only small. Couldn’t he do it for half price or… I could bring along Noah and maybe get a two for one deal?!?!? (kidding, just kidding).
I know, I know. I’m being overdramatic and cheap. What price can you put on the possibilty that he may find something important that will help to fix Ivy?
Oh and he’d better find something or i’ll stick his flexible camera… well…right where it’s supposed to go!